Last week was a hell week, everything was so dark and empty. I felt like someone abandoned me, but this is life. We're all born to die, isn't it? MrsChew is gone, gone for good probably, she'll feel much much more better in God's hands. Somewhere where she don't have to suffer from all these pains of taking lots of medicines, and going through chemotherapy and surgeries. Going to her cremation ceremony was a torture, but I wanted to send her off cos I didn't get the chance to see her one last time before she passed on. MrChew gave his speech...... He said that she will never be at any parades, NDP, concerts and other performances anymore and all these will be a torture for him. I'll miss you, MrsChew. Hopefully, we'll meet again someday.
Had a really hard time trying to accept the truth....... Everything went by so quickly. Her wake, the cremation ceremony and the start of this week. Seeing her entering the fire slowly was a torture. My heart sank, I could no longer see her, bathe her, have dinner with her before going home on the days I went over to take care of her, no longer have Christmas dinner at their house with her around and no longer listen to her tell me about her storybook she wrote and drew all by herself and no longer watch one of her favorite drama series with her... She left a huge footprint in my life. And I suppose everyone else's too. Placed flowers on her to send her off, said my last goodbye, voice trembling, heart sank and I could no longer hold back my tears. Cried throughout the whole thing. But I have to accept the truth, and stay strong for SwissWinds. Thank you all my close friends, band members, alumnis and the teachers for understanding how I feel and compromising. Thank you for all the support and encouragement you guys gave me.
Went to Madeline's early birthday chalet on Saturday after band practice. Was still doubting if I should really go, cos it'll be awkward. But in the end, I don't feel any awkwardness. Mom allowed me to stay overnight cos all the panjang gang all staying overnight and nobody going home with me. Went there all by myself, scared the hell out of me, so freaking dark... Didn't sleep for the whole night and XinHui taught us a new poker game. It made all of us look like some small kids, but really fun! Found out something too, our 'Band' clique can form an acapella singing group. Had karaoke session in the chalet before people start to complain and before some of them went home. Finally understand how to play bridge. LiXian taught me how to play it during last year's Bus Gang Outing. But I guess I was still stupid and can't understand how to play it. Had fun and I guess all of us didn't gain any weight, instead we lost weight. Kept walking long distances, freaking tired. T.T I'll cherish my bed even more......
Beginning of a new week, Monday! I love Mondays now, didn't experience Monday blues for very long already. School went by fast, and I like it! Collin came to my school today and became a part-time maid. Had a short milk and cheese tasting lesson for F&N. MdmWong and MdmLow didn't came to school today and their lessons are just one after another. 4 periods of English went by super fast, which never happened before. I guess the only painful thing is the ulcer near my lips, what a torture. Never liked ulcers. :'( Finally could accept the truth. Life still carries on, and in this journey, a lot people come and go. Someday, it'll be my turn to leave. Had a awesome late afternoon meetup with JinYan and Jolene. Yes, three person again and its always us, how nice. Went to The Rail Mall after many many years! Wanted to get green tea powder cos they said on the net that Cold Storage sells them. In the end, there was no green tea powder, wasabi powder you want? Had tea at coffeebean, me and JinYan's first time there. Sat there and chat about the things that normal friends won't chat about. Talked about MrsChew, and I miss her so so much! If only my life is like this everyday, meeting up with friends at the cafe and chat about our daily life and going home when the sun is setting. The time we reach home is just nice, bathe, have dinner, rest, do our work and off to bed. If only I don't have to worry about failing my exams, I think my life will be perfect. (: But dream on.......
Really thankful for SexySeven, SwissWinds members and the teachers. All those encouraging texts really pull me back on track. I have to stay strong for the band and MrChew. By doing this, MrsChew won't have to worry so much. Rest In Peace, MrsChew.
Cherish everyday cos you may not know who's leaving next.
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